Heliver's Tales

Well, after getting to sleep at 3am, I woke at 7, along with Jade and John. We had to wake Joe up or I think he would have slept all morning! I was dying for the kids to open their pressies, probably more than they were! They both got some lovely clothes, Joe looks like a townie, cos he has loads of big hooded tops, and Jade looks like Vicky Pollard in her new pink Barbie tracksuit lol. I got a lovely gold watch off John, it was really beautiful, very dressy, but we both agreed to take it back and get one that I could wear every day.

First to arrive were Auntie Margaret and Uncle Tom, who had brought pressies for the kids, and I kid you not, theirs is Jade's fave pressie, I am sure, she got loads of crayons and felt tips by crayola, and A3 pads, she loves drawing so we have all been treated to Jadey originals! Joe was treated to yet more new clothes!!!

Both Jade and Joe got presents off my nanna. Jade got a beautiful musical tin with some german dairy free cakes in and Joe got a new outfit. Nanna had bought them when she went to Austria with Margaret.

Mum and Garry then arrived, Jade got a Bratz Baby, a Magna Doodle, and other bits and bobs, Joe got an outfit, and a car with a driver and when you push the driver down in his seat, the lights come on, the 'engine' starts up and it moves along then when it stops, it makes a noise like someone laughing! I love it! hehe!!! I got loads off my mum, a lovely charm bracelet, very unusual. I also got some bubble baths, a glass butterfly, a father christmas candle holder, a turquoise butterfly brooch, and some choccies.

After we had finished unwrapping our pressies, the champagne was opened, a very nice one, very expensive! We raised our glasses to Nanna and Granddad. I had a lump in my throat. It sounds obvious to say but life will never be the same without them.

Onto the dinner! I made turkey (for a change) which was lovely and moist, with buttered carrots, roast potatoes, parsnips, sprouts with chestnuts and crispy bacon, and date and walnut stuffing. It was bloody lovely, but we were all too stuffed to have any pudding, but luckily it is in date till March '07!

We had a lovely time, it is so lovely to watch my mum with the kids. Just as they were going, mum called me to the bottom of the stairs and gave me an angel made from felt. I remember this belonging to Nanna, and she told me to look in the pocket, and in a little pouch was Nanna's wedding ring and her favourite necklace. Apparently when she accepted that she was dying she told mum that she wanted me to have it. I was totally blown away, I was speechless. I still keep looking at it and thinking of Nanna.

Posted by EG at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing. You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes. And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad. You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

Posted by EG at 11:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

Today was one of the hardest days of my life, we said our last goodbyes to Nanna.

I picked the flowers up from the florists, they were really beautiful. I was stuck for words as to what to put on the card.

We all met at Nanna's flat, and I had to stop when I got to the top of the stairs, I just couldn't go into the living room, I broke down into tears. My mum must have seen me and handed me the good old Bach Rescue Remedy. I had a load of that then went into the living room and it felt so bizarre, the room was immaculate, just how Nanna would have had it. I said hello to everyone then the cars arrived. I went to put our flowers into the hearse with Nanna and asked the undertaker if it was ok to touch the coffin. I whispered goodbye to Nanna and had a little quiet cry. It was then time to get in the cars, I was in one with my brother Matt, niece Vicky, and cousins Alec and Stacey. As we were going along I was gobsmacked at the number of people who stopped in their tracks to pay their respects. Nanna and Granddad may not have lived in the nicest of neighbourhoods, but there really was a lovely community spirit, everyone seemed to help each other out.

When we got to the church, we all walked in behind Nanna, and John sat at the back with Joe (we couldn't get a babysitter, and Jade was at school). All the grandchildren and Vicky sat on the second row. The service was lovely, the vicar was the same lady who took Granddad's service. She was very dignified but painted Nanna in a very true light, a warm, loving Mum, Nanna, Great Grandma, and friend to many. Again, as I was with Granddad's, I was blown away with the amount of people who came to the service, a lot of whom I hadn't seen since I was a little girl. A couple of people gave me donations for St Catherine's Hospice, a special place, very close to our hearts, as this is what we had requested, instead of flowers.

After the church service, we moved onto the Crematorium, which, again was taken by the lady vicar. After the short sermon, we each approached the coffin in turn to say goodbye. I kissed my hand, placed it on the coffin and whispered 'goodbye Nanna, I love you'.

Please Granddad, take good care of her...

Posted by EG at 9:18 PM | Permalink | Comments

Well, as the title suggests, my dear Nanna passed away on Tuesday evening at 9.50pm. My mum rang at 10.05 and her first words were 'You don't have to be brave' and that was it, I went to pieces. Mum was with Nanna, and she died peacefully in her sleep.

The day after was a bit of a haze really, I dropped Jade off at school, then got 2 lovely bouquets from the florist, one for my mum and one for my Auntie Margaret. Maggie has no children, and I am her goddaughter so I thought it would be a nice gesture.

I was asked on Wednesday if there was anything I would like (of Nanna's) but I honestly haven't got a clue. I would just like to have something to remember Nanna by so I have got a pic that Nanna had beside her bed of me and Jade when Jade was about 4 hrs old, and a few other things that I will cherish.

Mum told me she has taken some things to the funeral directors that will go with Nanna. One of them is a teddy which says 'With love Grandma' , it was only later on that evening that I sussed that it was the teddy that I bought her when Granddad passed away. She loved teddies, I was so touched that she will now have that teddy with her forever.

The funeral is on Monday, I have just been told that we are travelling from Nanna's flat to the church in one of the funeral cars. I'm not going to try to be brave, I know no-one will be expecting me to be brave because they all know I am a softie, so I am just going to let it all out.

At the moment I feel a bit numb and not very sociable, I guess I may feel a bit better after the funeral, I don't know, we'll see.

I just want to thank everyone who has been of immense support to me over the last few months, all of my friends have been wonderful and I don't know what I would have done without them.

Ess. x

Posted by EG at 11:08 AM | Permalink | Comments

Hi all!

A very poignant visit to see Nanna today, its her 76th birthday but probably the most upsetting visit. Mum told Nanna I was there and I kissed her forehead and said hello. Mum read her cards out to her and Nanna said 'thank you'. I just had a quick chat with mum then left, but not before I kissed Nanna on the forehead again. On the way back to the car I burst into tears.

On a happier note, I managed to get Joe a Tomy Discovery Dome for Christmas, I was soooo chuffed, you can't get one for love nor money on t'internet unless you want to pay over the odds on Amazon or eBay. I rang Argos this morning, and they didn't have any, anywhere in the country. I rang the local Toys R Us and they said because they couldn't see them on the computer then I can assume they didn't have any. We went there anyway as we had to exchange Jade's Leappad. I went to where I had originally seen the Domes in November and there were 3!!!!! I snapped one up straight away, I was shaking like a leaf! I put it in the trolley and say Blessing on it so no-one could nick it! Yeeeehaaaaahhhh!!!! Happy Xmas Joe!!!

Anyway, best be off, lovely hot bath then snuggle into my new jamas.

Ess. x

Posted by EG at 11:28 PM | Permalink | Comments

Hello all!

Well I have been treated to 2 runs of the Infant (or KS1as they prefer to call it now) Christmas play. Jade was Mary, I was so so so so chuffed! The first visit was with my mum, bless her, she had been up all night, she is staying at the hospice at the moment, so she only had about an hours kip then she came along. We had second row seats, but there was no-one in the seat in front of us, so we had as good a view as the people in the first row. Jadey was sat at the front, next to Brandon... I mean Joseph! They all looked so cute! Then Mrs Mayer, the headteacher came up to mum and I and congratulated us on how well behaved Joe and Blessing were! She said that he might be their Joseph one day, and I pointed out that he already is!

The second helping was with John, the proud dad! Joe wasn't quite as well behaved, but a hell of a lot better than the other little ones! Mind you, the play only started at about 6.15 so he was a bit grumpy. I think Jade has an admirer in Brandon, he tapped her on the shoulder when they were singing on the stage and he gave her a filthy look.

I took a couple of pics of her, but, true to form, I can't find the lead to download the pics off the camera, so will do that later. What a day to remember, and hopefully Nanna will get the chance to see the pic of her in her costume.

When I went to see Nanna, she had deteriorated since last time I saw her, and was very very weak. Mind you, she had all her wits about her, she even called Joe 'Baldy', after I cut his hair at weekend hehehe!!!! She reached out for my hand, and I took hold of hers. She gave my hand a squeeze, and mustered up all her energy to smile to me, which meant the world to me. I do hope I get the chance to see her again, but if not, I have some lovely memories of that visit.

I also know, deep down in my heart that I have been a good granddaughter, and we have had a very special relationship. Some of my best memories are, laughing at each other saying 'crap chicken', referring to some rancid looking chicken in a butchers in Clacton, also, when I won £40 at Gala in Clacton and I shared it with her.

I just hope I get that chance to hold her hand again.

Ess. x

Posted by EG at 9:44 PM | Permalink | Comments